See also: "stories on revolutionary marriages"

“Be like Shiva and Parvati”

- Usually said at the time of giving blessings to a newly married couple.

from Carya’carya Part 1:

A Few Instructions

(1) While arranging a marriage [in the case of that kind of marriage], the guardians should not consider the caste or nationality of the bride and bridegroom, but they must consider the family and the merits and demerits of the two. The guardians, before fixing the marriage, will seek the opinions of the bride and the bridegroom and proceed accordingly. The guardians should not allow matrimony between persons connected with each other either on the paternal or the maternal side for three generations, ascending or descending.

(2) In the case of arranged marriages, the guardians should finally meet and ascertain the consent of the bride and bridegroom, and bless them, at least a day before the marriage is solemnized.

(3) If the boy and the girl settle their marriage themselves, it is proper for the guardians to give their consent. In case the guardians feel that the consequences of such a marriage will be harmful, they may ask the boy and the girl to reconsider their decision. Even then, if they do not change their opinion, the guardians will give their consent, but they will be in no way responsible for such a marriage.

(4) Every person should marry if there is not sufficient reason against marriage. A decision for marriage should be taken with full consideration of one's physical, mental, and financial conditions and environmental circumstances. No one should exert pressure in the matter of marriage. Marriage is not a hindrance to dharma sa'dhana'; rather, marriage is a dha'rmika ceremony.

(5) Male members of the Marga can marry females outside the Marga, but it will be better to marry a female member of the Marga to a male member of the Marga, as far as possible. If a suitable match is available outside the Marga, the marriage may be solemnized, but efforts should be made to initiate him into the Marga without delay.

(6) For marriage, neither party can demand a dowry.

(7) A widow or a woman forsaken by her husband can remarry. A man marrying such a woman will be given a special status in the society. He will have to shoulder the responsibility of bringing up the children by her previous husband.

(8) If a woman forsaken by the society desires to lead an honourable life, proper opportunities should be afforded to her. If anyone marries such a woman in the manner prescribed by the Marga, the marriage should be properly respected.

(9) Men can prove their manliness by marrying shelterless women. Do not at all allow a woman to lead a shameful life.

(10) It is proper not to marry again when one's wife is alive. But sometimes, due to social or family necessity,* more than one marriage can be accepted. If there is a need of more than one marriage, the clear permission of the wife has to be obtained in the presence of five responsible persons (one of whom will preferably be an a'ca'rya/a'). The second marriage will not be permissible without the permission of the wife. These five persons will specifically ascertain the veracity of the statement of the petitioner.

* Social necessity: If at any time the women far outnumber the men, more than one marriage for men will have to be accepted to safeguard social purity.
Family necessity: If the wife is a chronic patient and therefore unable to work, or sterile, and there is no hope of her becoming healthy and conceiving a child, the man may marry a second time to maintain the lineage and/or to maintain the household.

(11) In Ananda Marga no one will be looked down upon as an illegitimate child. In such circumstances, the parents of the child will be compelled to marry in the prescribed manner, and if need be, the man will have to agree to more than one marriage.
In order that the dignity of a child born out of wedlock may be saved, it will not be necessary to take the permission of the earlier wife for the marriage.

(12) The mantras in the Ananda Marga marriage system are such that the question of divorce does not arise; but in very extraordinary circumstances, on charges of characterlessness, irresponsibility, or cruelty, divorce may be accepted. The complainant (man or woman) will appeal to five important responsible persons of the Marga (an a'ca'rya/a' preferably being one of them). On being satisfied regarding the validity of the complaint, they will allow the complainant six months' time for reconsideration. If the petition is still not withdrawn and the reasons for the complaint remain unaltered, divorce will be accepted. In this connection, the procedure for the division of the properties will be formulated according to the demands of the time.

from Namah Shivaya Shantaya
(All Bask in the Glory of Shiva - 2):

… As Shiva desires the well-being of all, He will not allow Prakrti to work unchecked. He will keep her under perfect control, and in order to do that, His simplicity, His honesty, must not be impaired under any circumstances. Even in the inseparable relationship of Shiva and Shakti, Shiva is absolutely simple. Nowhere in His expressions is there any complexity. Even at the time of regulating Prakrti, He is very simple; He is not at all complex. He is discharging His duties in all fields of life, whether big or small, domestic or social, worldly or spiritual, without losing His simplicity. Even when He sets forth to get married, He is always His simple self. His marriage is described in a poem:

Yabe bibahe chalila bilocan, ogo maran, he mor maran
Tanr kata mata chila ayojan, chila kata chata upakaran
Tanr latpat kare baghchal, tanr brsa rahi rahi garaje
Tanr bestan kari jatajal, jata bhujaungadal taraje
Tanr babam babam baje gal, dole galay kapal-a bharan
Tanr bisan phukari uthe tan, ogo maran, he mor maran.

When Shiva went for marriage, my God! There were many arrangements and much paraphernalia: Around His matted locks, serpents were hissing. His puffed cheeks emitting "babam babam sounds, His neck adorned with a garland of skulls, blowing notes on His horn, oh God! These were the arrangements!

At the time of His marriage, He carried many things, but those things were very simple. For instance, He had His usual loose tiger skin; His bellowing ox, which was His customary mode of transportation; His matted locks of hair; and His trumpet. Thus Shiva was simple and straightforward in all respects. The greatest thing people should learn from Shiva is this sort of straightforwardness and simplicity, and along with that, unflinching devotion to duty.

… Yes, this is Shiva, at whose marriage only trumpets were blown-even long horns were not blown. Maybe the bride had on a fine wedding dress and ornaments, but the bridegroom certainly did not wear a silken dhuti and cadar [wrapper], but merely wore his usual tiger skin as He took His seat at the marriage place. The bride might have the required headdress for marriage, but the bridegroom did not have a shining headdress. Instead, He had hissing snakes around His head. It was not the marriage of a Kayastha youth, after all--it was the marriage of Shiva.

There was no pomp and show in any aspect of Shiva's life. Shiva, who had countless occult powers, before whom everyone bowed with bended knee, was completely indifferent to His powers. This greatness of Shiva was a distinct trait of His character. While some gods and goddesses wore various types of ornaments--some had crowns on their heads, some bangles on their wrists, some earrings, some gold-decorated girdles around their waists--Shiva had no ornaments. His ornaments were His followers, His devotees--the common people, whom the Aryans branded as "ghosts." The indigenous people were somewhat dark, and the Aryans were fair-complexioned, so the Aryans despised those followers of Shiva--the common people of India--as "ghosts." In fact they were not ghosts but the devotees of Shiva. In Sam’skrta, they were called gana [mass of followers.]

These people were the ornaments of Shiva. They made up Shiva's family. His joys and sorrows, pleasures and pains centred around them. And Shiva's family meant this universe. All the persons of this universe, whether frustrated or joyful, educated or uneducated, devotees or opponents, were included in His family. No one was excluded, because all together made up Shiva's golden home in His thatched house. Who could be excluded? So the one who was at the head of such a big family became their god.

from A'nanda Ma'rga: a Revolution
(PROUT in a Nutshell part 11 and Ta'ttvika Praveshika'):

The approach taken by A'nanda Ma'rga to tackle the problem of developing an everlasting society is revolutionary in itself. Those who are to build the society of Ananda Marga are not mere idealists and moralists. They are a group of classless, casteless, practical people who not only preach and meditate on the principles of classlessness, but actually practise those principles so as to be fit to be a member of any of the classes of the world based on their individual capacity as members of humanity. With this background they are bound together by a common and foremost ideal. The ideal is everlasting and of equal importance for any class of people. The social laws of our Marga not only make no distinction between one person and another, but encourage both sexes to share equal responsibility in life. All social superstitions like widowhood, etc., are discarded. Not only are the superstitions discarded, but the fundamental principles of some of the existing laws of society, like allegiance to the laws of society and state, take second place. Of primary importance is one's allegiance to Brahma (the Supreme Being). Harsh social punishment such as creating outcasts or placing restrictions on widows or women in general in participating in certain social functions do not find place in our society. Ananda Marga has formed a society which frames its laws on the basis of common ideals in order to develop the idea of the oneness of all humanity. This society is radically different from any existing society, for it provides a society with a common bond where there is no distinction between class or sex, where no one is declared an outcast or punished without being given the chance for self-reform, and where no laws are framed keeping in view the interest of only a few individuals. In such a society no one is weak or downtrodden and no one is allowed to be exploited by others. Such a society had been dreamed of and advocated earlier by moralists and idealists, but never before has such a system been achieved, as it has been within Ananda Marga, which combines all the qualities of the different economic classes of the world in one individual. Never has such a system been conceived of by any of the numerous thinkers and law-givers of the world.

If Ananda Marga is a revolution in the economic and social spheres, it is an even greater revolution in the mental and spiritual spheres. Philosophers and thinkers so far have all declared the visible world to be unreal as compared to themselves. Ananda Marga takes a radically different view. According to the philosophy of our Marga, the world is as real as human beings' knowledge of their own existence. How far-reaching is the effect of this radical change in the trend of thought, is difficult to imagine at first. This approach not only gives the same importance to the world as to humanity, but makes the existence of the world essential too. The world, or any worldly activity, is just as good a manifestation of the Supreme Being as humanity itself. Hence Ananda Marga does not preach fleeing from the world, but makes it an essential requirement for every individual to remain in the world. The idea of giving the world equal importance to humanity is a revolutionary idea. Ananda Marga does not discriminate between a family person and a sannyasi (renunciate). The place given to a family person in our Marga is greater than the place given to a sannyasi, based on the reason that the former is not dependent on anyone for his or her maintenance, while the sannyasi has to depend on others. A family person is like a strong tree which is self-supporting, while the sannyasi is like the vine which twines around the tree for its support. A family person therefore deserves more respect than a sannyasi, according to the trend of thought in Ananda Marga. This is itself is a revolutionary idea.
No philosopher or thinker, whether eastern or western, had ever dared to declare a family person as deserving more respect than a hermit or a sannyasi. It needed the courage of a revolutionary to say so.

…
Ananda Marga is radically different from all concepts of philosophy as well as economic and social thinking. It is not a change which has evolved as a result of the evolution of the human mind and its economic and social environments. It is a revolutionary concept of life altogether different from any of the present or past ideas. It is a change which is independent of the cyclic changes due to the passage of time. It does not practise anything which is not new both in approach and practice. It is a revolution which makes life a reality. It teaches adjustment to life, rather than giving up the world by leading a life of useless seclusion. It creates people who are fit for every walk of life, who do not make any distinction among their fellow beings, and who are joined together as one world community. In our Ananda Marga all humanity, nay, all living beings (jiiva matra tare) have combined together in every walk of life.

1957

from: Problems of the Day

I am in favour of Social Synthesis. In my opinion as people come more intimately in contact with one another and the corners of the world come nearer, local customs will assume newer forms as a result of frequent inter change. The flowers of different gardens will unite into a bouquet, which will be more not less beautiful than the individual flowers themselves. If different communities are anxious to establish social blending through marriages, then Social Synthesis can be achieved within a short time. Its concrete reflections are already apparent to some extent in cosmopolitan cities.